“Your home must run like a well oiled machine” is a comment I hear upon occasion when people find I have a large family, run a business at home, and homeschool.  More often than not it does because I’m training my kids to help in all areas of home and family life, large or small. We have our off days like everyone else, but our norm is everyone working together to keep our home in line.  The reason behind the madness is not necessarily to have a “well-oiled machine” but to train future adults who live their lives as thriving adults, active citizens in their great nation, and who are not lazy but who appreciate the value of hard work.  These qualities are essential for every child to learn for a happy and productive life as a child, teen, and adult.

What are the main purposes behind having and training Mother Helpers?  I believe there are two main purposes:  1. To rear helpful children who work well, know the value of work, and who do not complain about work.  2.  To have help in your large and all encompassing calling of homemaker.

You know your children better than anyone and most importantly you are the best mother for your children.  You, the mother, know where your children are lacking or at least have an idea.  Does it become frustrating for you when you try to motivate or ask your child to do a task or chore?  Are your children more focused on pleasing him or herself with video games, computer games, movies or other self indulging activities?

Have a Vision: An important question to ask ourselves is: as parents, what can we sow in our children’s lives today that will he reap in the years to come?  I’ve often commented to my friends over the years of training my children and sowing seeds, if you will, that I’m just going through the forest and I can’t see through the trees.  How did I know the end result would be good?  I didn’t, but I had a vision in mind that I kept, and continue strive towards.  

Raising your children with a vision is like the quote by Brian Littrell, “Shoot for the moon; even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.”  If you don’t have a vision for your children your children will not have visions for their lives either.  If you don’t teach your children today how will they have knowledge or wisdom tomorrow?

Softened Hearts: Is your child’s heart yours or has he given to others outside the parental influence?  This can be peers, self-satisfying activities such as video games, or people not in the family.  We are sowers as taught in the scriptures.  Investing in our children today will reap rewards for both our children and our selves.  Most importantly, your child will be closely connected to you as you invest in him.

Start Young, if Possible- if not it’s okay, it’s never too late. My older girls were a little older when I introduced the new concept of Mother Helpers in our home.  After several years of our family doing this the current results are very satisfying for my husband and I.  Our oldest two daughters can cook or bake anything you ask them to.  From homemade breads and cakes to specialty items such as jams and pickles.  They can help maintain the cleanliness of the home and care for seven siblings.  They enjoy and have a special place in their hearts for children, especially their siblings.  They read them books, play with them and can care for most of their basic needs.  My twelve year old son is not too far behind them.  We still have a ways to go, but we’re pleased with the results thus far.

Inspire not Require: I’m currently knee deep in training the next set of Mother Helpers ages ten and eight.  We treat it as a promotion of sorts.  The child who is promoted to Mother Helper is given extra privileges. Along with training in the home arts and tending to siblings, they are given more responsibilities with the verbal understanding that tending to these responsibilities is a sign of maturity and that we trust them.  We emphasize both of these qualities with excitement and enthusiasm. The Mother Helpers even have the privilege of helping make the menus and grocery lists. (More on this in upcoming articles.)  

We rear our children using the principles of A Thomas Jefferson Education founded by Oliver and Rachel DeMille.  TJED, as it is also known as, is more than just merely a homeschool philosophy, it encompasses life and all forms of education.  One of the seven pillars of great teaching is “Inspire not Require”.  Being a great leader is defined by inspiring others not forcing them to follow you or to do things for you.  When parents invest in their own knowledge of their own leadership skills they can learn to inspire children to work, learn, and grow-- not the opposite which is forcing them to do things and as a result the children rebel, resist, and detach themselves from the parents and the family.

Teaching our children life skills by using the title of Mother Helper has been the focus in our lives for many years. I have many ideas and hints that I’m excited to share that can help you on your way.  I’m going to feature these topic by topic in the Homemaking Cottage Home & Garden Magazine (also known as the Deluxe Edition) each month. Some of the next articles will include: teaching the value of hard work, shepherding your Children, providing the right environment for your child to learn these life skills, rewards and promotion ideas, responsibilities for all ages, creating a vision, and more.