Someone once told me that next to death, moving can be one of the most traumatic experiences a family can go through. With that thought in mind, my family and I prepared to move halfway across the country with my husband's new job transfer. And with that in mind, I set out amid boxing and tagging, planning and fussing, to make moving as painless for my children as possible. It wasn't easy. Moving is a bit like death--goodbyes are said, ties broken, familiar places left and a great unknown entered. To ease the transition, we found the following helpful for anyone relocating hearth and home, whether across town or across the country.

* First and most important, be candid and open with your children. Let them know as soon as possible that the family will be moving and when. On a map, locate the place you will be moving to then visit a library and find pictures and other information about that area. Contact the tourist bureau and Town Hall of the new area and send for a new residents' booklet, maps, and information on local attractions etc. Talk positively about the differences between your present area versus your new area. Let your children voice their fears on what they feel the move will be like for them and for the family.

* Buy each child an address book and have them collect the addresses and phone numbers of favorite neighbors and friends. Plan parties and farewell get-togethers. Share email and blog addresses etc.

* On house hunting trips, keep your children in mind. Tally the number of children in each neighborhood, explore the schools and look for recreational and other opportunities available. Pay particular attention to the home and yard, choosing the type of home best suited to your family's needs. For example, while house hunting, I looked for a home with a bigger yard as opposed to a bigger house. Knowing my family, I knew they'd appreciate a large back yard rather than a larger kitchen or an extra bedroom.

* After deciding on a home, take pictures of it and share them with your children. Vivid descriptions given by you of their new home and neighborhood help make the place less frightening and unfamiliar.

* As moving time nears, have those farewell parties and give out your new address. To make things simple, print your new address and phone number etc. on small cards and give them out when requested.

* When packing time arrives, let your children help with their own rooms, packing a box with their special things. Label this as the box first opened upon arriving at your new home. When surrounded with some of their favorite books, blankets, stuffed animals, pictures etc. your children will feel more at home.

* If at all possible, before moving, spend a night in your empty home. Though it may sound strange, we found this helped remove some of the attachment we felt for the old house. Somehow the home doesn't feel quite the same when cupboards are bare, furniture is gone and voices echo against bare walls. On our last night, we slept on the floor in sleeping bags, ordered pizza and spent time talking over good times we'd shared as a family there.

* Make the trip to your new area fun! Plan an agenda, making time along the way to stop and see the sights. Camp out, eat in fun restaurants, pack a picnic or two and stay in a motel with a swimming pool. During our most recent move, we camped in the Badlands, visited Wounded Knee cemetery, spent time at Fort Bridger and yes, even visited Wall Drug in South Dakota. Making the trip slower yet more enjoyable helped our children adjust bit by bit to the new landscape and atmosphere as we went.

* Upon arriving in your new area, take your children on a tour of your new home and neighborhood. As you walk through the home say positive things such as, "There's a great place for your stuffed animals", or "the back yard sure is a good place to play baseball." Don't be discouraged if your children seem pensive or even hostile toward the home at first. Despite careful planning, it takes some time for the place to become "theirs".

* Unpack as quickly as possible and get organized. Let your children help with unpacking their own rooms. Resuming the normal pace and routine of family life helps everyone settle in more quickly.

* Spend time and energy getting to know your neighbors. Walk up and down the street, knock on a few doors and introduce yourselves. Most people are glad to meet their new neighbors and may even beat you to the punch by showing up on your doorstep first. In particular, open your home to the children of the neighborhood. Children enjoy making friends with new people and your friendly manner may help your children fit in faster.

* Visit your children's new schools. Find the library and get a library card. Visit parks, the church you attend, the grocery and video stores and other local attractions. Attend community events when you hear of them or see them advertised. Though intimidating, this will help you meet more people and get a feel for the community as a whole.

* Register your children at school and visit with teachers. If moving in the summer, as we did, make sure you attend the school's Back to School night. Volunteer as your children's room mother, sign up for field trips, offer to read in your children's classrooms. By doing this you'll involve yourself as well as place yourself in a situation to see that your children are fitting into the new school all right. Also, the other students in a class seem to want to know the child whose parent is there.

* Sign your children up for the sports, clubs and other activities they show an interest in. Involvement brings familiarity and a better sense of belonging to the community.

* Have your children write, call or email their old friends thus reinforcing old bonds. Encourage them to share the positive aspects of their new area as well as the inevitable "I miss you" parts.

* Finally, be happy and positive yourself. Change is often difficult but new opportunities, activities and challenges can make your move an adventure the whole family can grow from. An adventure which while not easy, does not have to be a fate worse than death!

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