When Abigail Adams died on October 28, 1818, her final words were to her husband. “Do not grieve, my friend, my dearest friend,” she said. “I am ready to go. And John, it will not be long.”

Abigail had reason to call her husband, John Adams, her dearest friend. For nearly 54 years, she had been his wife, companion and loyal supporter as he rose to influence in Colonial and Revolutionary America. The strength of their marital relationship is evident in the many letters they exchanged and kept over the years. The letters show Abigail to be bright, witty and extremely independent. She was also a grand hostess and later, a popular “First Lady” when her husband served as the second president of the United States. But Abigail Adams’ most lasting legacy may be as an advocate for women’s rights as is shown in a letter to her husband in which she reminded him to “remember the ladies. . .” when creating new laws for the colonies.

But Abigail Adams was also a mother; a role she cherished and one which caused her, like any mother, both joy and sorrow. Because her husband’s political duties often took him from home, Abigail learned to care for their five children and the family farm alone. During the years her husband was President, she continued her household duties which included keeping the fires in the large “White House” lit and converting one of the great rooms in the building into a laundry, complete with clothes lines. But Abigail was more than adequate to whatever responsibilities came her way due in large part to her own upbringing and the things she learned then.

Abigail Smith Adams was born in November of 1744 in Massachusetts. Her father was a Congregational minister and her home was a loving but strict one. She was well-educated for the time, being taught at home by her grandmother and mother how to read, write and above all, how to think for herself. Abigail was an avid reader her entire life and was considered by many to be one of the best read woman of her age. As a child, she was often of delicate health but learned to persevere through times of physical illness. She married John Adams just before her 20th birthday and in ten years bore five living children; a sixth child was stillborn.

Abigail was an involved, concerned and loving parent. Her first child, a girl also named Abigail but nicknamed Nabby, was given great attention from her mother. She in turn was very attached to her mother and was often considered “stuck up” by other children because she was quiet by nature and preferred to stay with Abigail rather than play with them. Nabby however was kind and conscientious to both her parents so it was surprising when she eventually married a man whom her parents didn’t approve of. William Smith proved to be a difficult and unreliable husband but Nabby did her best and proved to be a good wife and mother herself. Unfortunately, Nabby developed breast cancer while yet young and after being cared for by her parents, died in 1813 at their home. Abigail was bereft and felt a “great depression” watching her eldest child suffer and die in such a way. But Abigail was no stranger to the grief of losing a daughter; another daughter, Susanna, had died at the age of two in 1770.

Three boys were also born into the Adams’ home. Of the three, John Quincy was the most successful, becoming sixth president of the United States and mirroring the life and ideals of his father more than his two brothers, Thomas and Charles. In fact, both Thomas and Charles were self-destructive and battled alcoholism, gambling and excessive debt most of their lives. Abigail suffered greatly watching her two wayward sons and said at the time of Charles’ death at the age of 30, “he was no man’s enemy but his own.” She could have said that of Thomas as well. Though he lived longer than Charles, Thomas suffered also from the effects of depression and alcoholism. He was once described by a nephew as “a brute in manners and a bully in his family.”

By the time of Abigail Adams’ death in 1818, she had outlived four of her six children and wouldn’t see her son, John Quincy become the sixth president of the United States. After her death, John wrote of his mother in his journal, “There is not a virtue that can abide in the female heart but it was the ornament of hers. . .” Patriot, intellectual, “First Lady”, advocate for women’s rights and above all, loyal wife and loving mother.  All these were the ornaments not only of Abigail Adams’ heart, but of her life.  

CREDIT: "A. Adams / from an original painting by Gilbert Stuart." from By Popular Demand: Portraits of the Presidents and First Ladies, 1789-Present Created/published New York : Johnson, Wilson & Co. Publishers, [between 1830 and 1860(?)] Reproduction number LC-USZ62-10016 DLC Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division Washington, D.C. 20540 USA

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