The Stepford Wives is a science fiction movie about a community of perfect wives living the perfect lives with the perfect husbands.  The movie ends by revealing that these women were not real women at all, merely robots.  Much of our reality is based on personal perceptions.  When we look at another woman to compare and see that she has it all together, it is our own perception based on feelings of inadequacies of our own selves.

Considering we are not perfectly behaved robots we should be lighter on ourselves and our perceptions of others.  We are spiritual beings having a human experience.  What is this experience for anyway?  Daily we are learning to overcome the natural man {woman}, to learn forgiveness for ourselves and others, among a vast variety of other good and noble things.

Keep the Focus Where it Should Be

We each have strengths and weaknesses.  When we’re hypercritical of others it is usually because we notice our own faults in another person.  How many times have we looked at someone and assumed she has it all together? She seems to have the perfect house, husband, kids, clothes….the perfect life.  Who are comparing her with?  The answer is simple- we’re comparing her to our own wants and desires.  Much of the time when we do this we are at the same time being blind to our blessings, talents, and the beauty in our lives.  It wouldn’t affect us as much or be so noticeable if it isn’t us individually that we are comparing other women with.

Years ago I met a woman who seemed perfect.  She was beautiful and the perfect weight even though she had six kids.  She had an attractive husband who provided a large income for her family.  Her house was large and beautifully decorated.  Her homeschooling kids seemed mellow and obedient.  She was happy and portrayed my idea of a successful woman.

I love the saying, “If all of the problems were hung on a line, you’d take yours and I’d take mine.”  This woman that I thought had it all, had gone through the very difficult trial of having to bury her two year old who died of a heart defect.  Comparing my difficulties to hers again really changed my perceptive and instead of envying her, I began praying for her and seeing her through eyes of deep respect.

When we feel compelled to compare ourselves with anyone in a negative way it has deeper roots.  The roots go deep inside of the individual doing the comparing because we do not feel adequate in some way and therefore do not love that part of ourselves.

Unconditional Love Overcomes Everything

Consciously allowing others to be who they are while we simply love and serve them is a form of charity, or Christ-like love.  When feelings of comparison creep into our lives it takes a conscious effort to change them.  Don’t forget to ask in prayer to have help removing those negative feelings towards yourself and other women.  It isn’t fair to you to hold others in more esteem than you do yourself.  You are the one most affected by it when you do.

In the Bible a man asked Jesus, "Master, which is the great commandment in the law?" Then, "Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." (Matt 22: 36)  We cannot obey the second greatest commandment without first loving who and what we are.  Only then can we show love to others.  The two greatest commandments are based on love.

"Conceit comes from comparing yourself to others and concluding that you are better than they are. Comparing yourself to others can also result in either feelings of inferiority or superiority. Psychologist Maxwell Maltz says an inferiority complex and a superiority complex are merely opposite sides of the same coin. And the coin is counterfeit, for no one is either inferior or superior to anyone else. A person is just different from others. Accept yourself as the unique person that you are without comparing yourself to others. Doing this will help you love yourself properly without conceit." -Clark Swain , Ph.D (New Era 1979)

Love yourself even with the mistakes you make and your imperfections and then love others knowing that you are equal in the sight of God.  

In closing, I’d like to share what William Hazlitt (1778-1830) an English Essayist once said, “To be capable of steady friendship or lasting love, are the two greatest proofs, not only of goodness of heart, but of strength of mind.” We are conscious beings making conscious choices and none of us is perfect.  The next time you are tempted to compare yourself to another in a negative way decide then that you love who you are too.  Being clear on your intentions will clear your mind enough to focus on strengths and virtues that you possess and those that you admire in others.  Only then can we stop this dangerous path towards false beliefs of who we should be and steer ourselves back onto the road that we should really be focused on to begin with: unconditional love towards all.